Twilight: Teen Romance or Prime Example of the Co-Dependant Relationship

The Twilight series of books by Stephanie Meyer is all the rage at the moment. Even before the first film was released, we had all heard of this series. So, like half the population of the Western world, I jumped on the bandwagon and read the books too. The problem now is that I seem to be the only person who does not see the token relationship between Bella and her beau, Edward as one of romance and admiration.

Sure, there is the obvious issue of the fact that he is a vampire and she is a human, but I could have ignored that fact if it was written in a healthy, positive manner, but it isn't. Bella is an independent, fiesty character who soon loses her appeal right along with her identity when she falls for vampire Edward, and her love becomes an obsession.

The books provide a perfect example of the co-dependant relationship, whereby neither can imagine life apart. Bella will happily give up every human experience to spend eternity with Edward. Okay, that would be romantic, expect for this to happen, she sees it essential to give up doing what she enjoys, right down to her friendship with her best friend and werewolf, Jacob. And instead of being annoyed by this controlling behaviour of her boyfriend, she accepts it and makes excuses for it. He leaves, and she falls apart in a way that indicates it is perfectly normal not to function properly again without this person, until he comes back. Suddenly Bella can not even leave the house without Edward's permission. He is there every second, even watching her sleep. This control is not healthy.

Do we really want our youth falling into the belief that it is healthy and romantic to do everything our partner tells us and giving up everything we love, other than him/her? No. Personally, I don't think it is a positive example at all and while I rarely get carried away with analysing the books I read, this was one book that had an impact for all the wrong reasons. The scary thing is, even the independent women in their mid twenties whom I work with continue to make comments about how romantic Edward is and how much they wish they could be Bella. Suddenly their desks are covered in pictures of the actor who portrays him, all due to their obsession with this literature relationship. It is far more concerning the impact this perception will have on impressionable teenage girls whom the books are most directed towards.

Share your thoughts.

Challenges faced by those living with anxiety disorders

Every single waking hour is often a challenge for an individual living with an anxiety disorder. And to make matters worse, often their sleep patterns are disrupted and their social lives are non existent. Anxiety is something that can take over your entire life, if you allow it. It can often become a life long journey keeping it controlled enough to live an ordinary existence. Few non-sufferers realise the full extent of what anxiety can do to an individual and how it becomes a challenge to even leave the house for some. As we all experience anxiety to some extent, many believe while this is an unpleasent feeling, it cannot possibly be debilitating as some make it out to be. But it can be.

For some individuals living with an anxiety disorder, one of the biggest challenges is avoiding a panic or anxiety attack. This is not something all anxiety disorders involve, however it is common for many. A panic attack involves a sudden heightened sensory experience, where the heart may start pumping extremely fast, breaths may become short and difficult and their may be pains in the chest. For some, this experience has been compared to how it feels when someone is having a heart attack, so there is little doubt that this is one of the biggest challenges faced by someone with anxiety. Panic attacks are often the reason the person avoids going out in public or socialising, because they fear they will bring further embarassment upon themselves by experiencing a panic attack in public. This can be a highly traumatising experience for anyone who has ever been through it, and learning the skills required to overcome panic attacks can be a very long and challenging process. It involves learning relaxation strategies, which take a long time before they become automatic. It is also largely about self-awareness, as is the case with overcoming most anxiety challenges.

One of the other biggest challenges with anxiety disorders is that an individual often stops doing the things they once enjoyed. This may mean giving up any hobby that involves other people, from small activities like going to the movies, to the more public experiences, such as playing sport. The individual often becomes too nervous and anxious that others are looking at them and their constent thoughts become a whirl of obsession that they will embarass themself in front of others. Even though this does not seem like such a big deal to most of us, who will willingly go back out and give something a go regardless of if someone has seen us embarass ourselves, but for the anxiety sufferer, this is the ultimate in humilation and enough to cause a total avoidance of the activity in future.

A further challenge with anxiety disorders is the length of time often required for treatment. There is medication available that is often very effective with individuals suffering anxiety. This requires seeing either a doctor or a psychiatrist for pharmacology options. However, other forms of therapy are also effective in the long run, particuarly when used with medication. The problem is, treatment can take extremely long periods of time, as it focuses on becoming aware of when the anxiety response occurs, learning automatic relaxation techniques to counter the anxious feelings and also desensitising themselves from feeling anxious in such situations to begin with. For some, the anxiety may never completely disappear, however treatment is proven to be effective in most cases, even if this does only result in a significant decrease in symptoms. Either way, it means an improvement in the quality of life, which is important to everyone suffering a mental illness.

Useful Tips For Combating Mild Depression

Depression is something that plagues so many individuals that you are sure to know someone or be that someone who has experienced at least a mild form of depression at some time or another. Because it can happen to anyone, at any time, it is always good to know some methods for pulling through from the depressive sheet without the need for medication or counselling.

1. Exercise
Never underestimate the power of exercise. You may not feel motivated at the time, but encouraging yourself to take initial small steps into exercising will make a big difference. Exercise releases endorphins into the body that help make you feel happy. It also helps you develop increased levels of energy, which are likely to be low during your depression. So even starting small, like a walk around the block, will help you get into good habits and keep the depressive bug at bay.

2. Goal setting
By setting yourself small, realistic goals, you can motivate yourself to start achieving the things you have stopped bothering to do. You may lack the motivation to do anything you would normally do, including those essential things like cleaning, paying bills and eating. By setting goals on things you should be doing but have stopped, you start to achieve the basics again and can then start setting higher goals, and rewarding yourself for your effort. By reaching your goals you are also giving yourself a sense of achievement.

3. Mood foods
There are many foods that help improve your mood if you are feeling depressed. These are of course healthy food options, which increase your vitamin intake, making you feel better from the inside out. So eat your green leafy vegetables, nuts and lean protein. Also foods like strawberries and seafood are all good for a healthy mind.

4. Communicate
Sometimes simply getting our burdens off our chest and sharing with a loved one can mean the world of difference. Talk to someone you trust and tell them you aren't feeling so good. Chances are they may not have realised but will now be doing what they can to help you get through this difficult stage.

A World Famous Rapper... Or Grandiose Delusions

I recently experienced an unusual case. An offender had been transferred into our centre a few months earlier from a different correctional centre, and they had neglected to complete one of his major initial assessments. This was required to determine eligibility for program participation and any other special requirements, although not intended as a psychological diagnostic tool. This offender had maintained a fairly low profile within the centre, with no one raising the alarm that something might be not quite right, so I went into the interview as with any other offender, expecting it to be fairly routine. It was certainly anything but routine.

Within minutes, this perfectly typical looking, soft spoken, polite young man began telling me he was framed for his offences and he is actually a world famous rapper. He told me he had number one hits around the world and CDs in all the major music stores. He informed me he has a number of properties near the Great Barrier Reef (Australia) and that he had his own private jet, which he flew to various countries as he pleased. Of course with all this fame and fortune, he had no need to ever work again and he would simply live off his profits.

This offender completely denied committing any of his current or prior criminal offences. He had spent the majority of his adult life incarcerated, and up until around last year, there was no evidence of any psych history on file. Thankfully our contracted mental health services were somehow aware of him and I had a chance to check out their files... although this was difficult because unfortunately psych writing can be much the same as doctor's writing.

It is likely our rap star is actually suffering a form of personality disorder, as he presents as very grandiose and narcissistic. He belief of being framed also suggest persecutory delusions. Certainly an interesting case and one I will be exploring further.

The D Club - Book Extract

The following is from “Journeys With The Black Dog: Inspirational Stories of Bringing Depression to Heel”. Edited by Tessa Wigney, Kerrie Eyers & Gordon Parker. Pages 16-21. It is a book of personal experiences with depression and highly recommended if you or someone you know is experiencing depression.

I'm the perfect party guest. Put me anywhere and I’ll energise. Sit me next to the nerd and we’ll be digesting computers and code, saddle me up to an artist and it’ll be all art house and film noir. Introduce me to a mum and we’ll be gushing over the new-born. Well, until the baby needs a nappy change.

Yep I’m an energetic kind of guy. I’m into things. All things. Passion is my mantra. Be passionate, be proud. ‘Tis cool. ‘Tis sexy.

What’s more, people respond. I ask questions. They give me answers. It’s like I have a truth serum aura or something. My intuition is strong, it is real, it is Instinct. It is David Beckham.

Well now that you have my RSVP profile and we’re on intimate terms, I can tell you a little secret. A kind of friend-for-life, confidante, I-trust-you-a-whole-lot secret. I’m not always the bundle of kilowatts you see before you. I’m not always the interested, interesting persona who invigorates, and who epitomises the successful young professional – the man about town who’s hip, happening, sporty and fashionable.

Ye, while I sit here typing this on my new ultra-portable, carbon-coated, wireless notebook, because looks are important, I am reminded of my darkest hours. ‘My achey breaky heart’ hours. And I hated that song from Billy Ray Cyrus and his mullet.

Only a few months ago I finished Series 5 of ‘Desperate Individuals’. It’s my own spin-off from Desperate Housewives, except with a limited budget there were no major co-stars or Wisteria Lane – just a cast of two, with my sofa taking the supporting role.

Truth be known, my sofa deserves an Oscar. An Oscar for the best supporting furniture in a clinically depressed episode. My sofa does what it always does when I’m alone in my depressive mindlessness. Cradles me, protects me and warms me. We’ve become quite acquainted over the years since my late teens. We hide from the phone together, cry together and starve together. Ain’t that a shit. I have a relationship with a couple of cushions. At least they cushion me from a world I can no longer face, expectations I can no longer live up to, productivity that has left me behind.

It makes for good television. Because my life is as depressive as today’s TV. It’s 100 percent reality. It’s repetitive. It’s boring. It’s cheap. It’s a mockumentary to everyone but the participant.

My sofa doesn’t eat; you can tell that from the crumbs under the cushions, and with clinical depression, I’m not hungry either, so we’re a perfect match. Food? My tongue is numb and I can’t taste anything so why bother.

Looking back, it’s hard to see when each period of depression started. That’s because most depressive episodes end up being a blur; a juvenile alcoholic stupor forgetting the hours between midnight and 4am, except in my mental state it’s a whopping six months that are hazy and foreign.

Seconds don’t exist in my world of depressive dryness. Seconds have become hours. Hours are now days. Months are lost in a timeless void of nothingness. No sleep, no interest, no energy. And it is here that life becomes its most challenging.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the comfortable cinema vicarious experience with stadium seating and popcorn. I just wish depression was a two-hour affair on a cold Sunday afternoon instead of the rigor-mortic torture that makes it too painful to stay in bed, but even more painful to get up.

Depression is inconherence – the death of wellbeing, direction and life. Everything aches. Everything! Your head. Your eyes. Your heart. Your soul. Your skin aches. Can you smell it? Oh yeah, ache smells and I’ve reeked of it. My grandmother ached. She told me just before she died of cancer. From then on I saw the ache in her eyes. Sometimes in the middle of a depressive episode, I see it in mine. To look in the mirror and see your own total despair is… horrendous.

Now all of this is sounding downright pessimistic and I mustn’t dwell on the pain of the past. After all, I’m here to tell my story when so many others are not. For I write this not to recapitulate history but to shed a little light on an illness that affects 20 percent of adults at some time in their life.

For those of you who have been or are currently clinically depressed, welcome to the club – the members only ‘D Club’. Here’s your card and welcome letter, and don’t forget that we have a loyalty program. You get points for seeking help, points for talking to friends and family, and points for looking after yourself.

The good news is that public perceptions, which not so long ago relegated mental illness to that of social taboo, are slowly being broken. Courage, dignity and honest can be used to describe Western Australia’s former Premier, Dr Geoff Gallop, who detailed his depression at the start of 2006. Here’s a small excerpt:

It is my difficult duty to inform you today that I am currently being treated for depression. Living with depression is a very debilitating experience, which affects different people in different ways. It has certainly affected many aspects of my life. So much so, that I sought expert help last week. My doctors advised me that with treatment, time and rest, this illness is very curable. However, I cannot be certain how long I will need. So in the interests of my health and my family I have decided to rethink my career. I now need time to restore my health and wellbeing. Therefore I am announcing today my intention to resign as Premier of Western Australia.

Stories like Dr Gallop’s allow more of us to talk about how depression can affect our health, jobs, families, partners and friends. It’s not a sign of weakness to express our inability to function mentally. It is in fact a sign of courage, openness, sincerity and trust.

It is not unusual for those of us who are suffering from depression to feel guilty, as if we have somehow brought this upon ourselves, that we are weak, its all in our head, or that we’re somehow protecting those around us by somehow protecting those around us by hiding our mental paralysis.

Truth be known, so many of us are lost in today’s frenetic lifestyle that we don’t see the signs of unhappiness and helplessness in our loved ones. Sometimes it takes a meltdown to even see it in ourselves. But it is only through acknowledging mental illness that we can get treatment and start to finally feel better. Who would’ve thought that asking for help would be so hard?

For someone suffering from clinical depression, just to talk can be exhausting. During my last episode, I had repeating visions of falling asleep on my grandmother’s lap because there I could forget about the worries of the world. Memories of her gentle hand caressing the back of my neck are safe and warm. A simple gesture can mean so much.

Today, instead of my grandmother, I have dear friends who offer to cook, clean, wash and care for me. They fight my fierce independence and depression-induced silence with frequent visits and constant dialogue. Their lives haven’t stopped, they don’t feel burdened and they haven’t moved in. They are now simply aware that I have a mental illness, and we are closer because of it.

I, too, have taken responsibility to seek assistance from qualified medical practitioners. Don’t get me wrong –taking the first, second and third steps to get help from a doctor can be traumatic. It’s not easy admitting that you’re not coping with life. And finding a physician you feel comfortable with, and antidepressants that work, can take time. But I am testimony that you’ve got to stick with it.

And so, as I sit here and start to daydream as I look out of the window, I am reminded of a recent time when I lost my ability to sing, to share in laughter, to swim, to eat, to talk, to enjoy, when waking up was just as difficult as going to bed. It’s a frightful place that sends shivers up my spine.

However it’s a fleeting memory, because Mr Passion, that energetic kind of guy, is back, and he doesn’t have time to dwell on the past. This D Club member is in remission and it’s time to party.

D is for Depression

Depression is one of the most common forms of mental illness. It can strike at any time and anyone can be victim to it. It is so common, in fact, that there is a high chance you would already know someone who has battled with depression, either in the past or currently.

Depression is a mood state that is characterised by significantly lowered mood and loss of interest in activities that are normally enjoyable. It falls under the diagnostic criteria of a mood disorder, of which there are four divisions : depressive disorders, bipolar disorders, mood disorder due to a general medical condition, and substance-induced mood disorder.

The typical presentation for an individual experiencing depression may include:
# Markedly depressed mood
# Loss of interest or enjoyment
# Reduced self-esteem and self-confidence
# Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
# Bleak and pessimistic views of the future
# Ideas or acts of self-harm or suicide
# Disturbed sleep
# Disturbed appetite
# Decreased Libido
# Reduced energy leading to fatigue and diminished activity
# Reduced concentration and attention.

However the following atypical symptoms may also be present:
#Mood is reactive such that it may brighten during positive events or in response to anticipated events
#And at least two of the following:
-Increased appetite
-Excessive sleepiness
-Heavy, leaden feelings in the arms or legs, often lasting many hours at
a time
-The individual has a life long trait of being sensitive to
perceived interpersonal rejection to the point that functional impairment
exists.

There are many subtypes of depression, including but not limited to, major depression, dysthymia, bipolar disorder and post partum depression.

Psychologists In Prison

There are many different speciality areas of psychology, however one that always fasinated me was forensic psychology. Working in a prison means I am often given the title of a forensic psychologist, however to be honest, the type of work we do in a prison certainly does not fall under the true position description of forensics. Instead, most of the role is assessment based and looks nothing like an episode of CSI.

Suicide risk is a massive area in prisons. It isn't really difficult to wonder why. When you are locked in the same place for a significant period of time, living a structured regime every day, doing as you are told with no real hope for better days, it is not really surprising that there is a high rate of suicide attempts in prison.

When I first got my job, in many ways I sort of felt like I had been employed to prevent suicide. It was such a morbid thought that the only reason they have psychologists in prison is for that very reason. Afterall, it is something like a one million dollar fine for the management of the centre if there is a death in custody due to suicide. It means staff are simply not doing their job well enough.

Over time, my role has diversified more. Risk assessment remains the primary focus, however there is now more opportunity for individual intervention and actually helping individuals if the need is great enough. Assessment of other types remains common also, such as intellegence testing or simple assessments of depression or anxiety. Most of the actual full on psychological work is done by contracted health staff known as Prison Mental Health Service.

One thing is definiate though, for a psychologist, working in a prison is a great way to start your career. It gives you a chance to build up your rapport building skills and also teaches you to deal with challenges, like the unwilling client. It also gives you a great view of the more intense side of abnormal psychology, including severe mental illness such as schizophrenia and personality disorders, and a chance to see what a psychopath really is. I enjoy my role, but it certainly is not where I see myself in 10 years time. Or even 5.